Some Thank Yous

Thank you for today, and if it come tomorrow

Thanks for the cold air that makes its home in Autumn

Thanks be to God who makes mornings like this happen

Thanks to rain swept days when all weather rules slacken

Thank you Christ who in love can laugh at my expense

Thanks Alex for making my scattered thoughts make sense

Thank you Paul and Kevin, friends who never stale

Thanks Mom and Dad who always answer, never fail

Thank you orange leaves who teach all springtimes must end

Thank you for your patience Lord when I am a wretch

Thank you there is stuffing for those who hate turkey

Thanks for days of gratitude, we need more dearly

Thank you for the rocky paths that lead to redemption

Thank you that You love us without condescention

Thanks to my wife who proves life isn't always fair,

'Cause I don't deserve a love so sweet but she is always there

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Reflections on Psalm 23 & 24 Part 2

This is the second post of a two part reflection on Psalm 23 & 24, which I (Josh) have been reading over the past couple of weeks.

Psalm 24

A Psalm of David.

¹ The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof,

the world and those who dwell therein,

²for he has founded it upon the seas

and established it upon the rivers.

³ Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?

And who shall stand in his holy place?

⁴ He who has clean hands and a pure heart,

who does not lift up his soul to what is false

and does not swear deceitfully.

⁵He will receive blessing from the LORD

and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

⁶Such is the generation of those who seek him,

who seek the face of the God of Jacob.

Selah

⁷ Lift up your heads, O gates!

And be lifted up, O ancient doors,

that the King of glory may come in.

⁸Who is this King of glory?

The LORD, strong and mighty,

the LORD, mighty in battle!

⁹Lift up your heads, O gates!

And lift them up, O ancient doors,

that the King of glory may come in.

¹⁰Who is this King of glory?

The LORD of hosts,

he is the King of glory!

Selah

In Psalm 24 following directly after Psalm 23, David widens his scope and focuses on the Kingship of God. A king himself, David realizes and acknowledges that God’s kingdom contains the whole earth “and the fullness thereof”. God is the King of Glory, the royal savior who has founded and established the very earth. What I noticed as I read this psalm directly after psalm 23 is the different type of hope it presents. Psalm 23’s hope is the promised intimacy of a loving nurturing God who is Shepherd, who walks with us, makes us lie down in green pastures, who leads us to refreshing streams, who serves us and allows us to dwell in his presence forever. Psalm 24 takes a different tone. The King of Glory, David’s King and ours, is first and foremost holy. He sits on his hill and David asks the question, “who shall ascent” to his place to be near him, while in Psalm 23 David sings he will “dwell in the house of the Lord forever”. The King of Glory demands holiness, clean hands and a pure heart from those who worship him. In Psalm 23, God is the Shepherd alongside us but in Psalm 24, we have to “seek him”.

I realize this sounds like David is presenting two very different Gods but I don’t think he is. Rather than contrasting the two Psalms compliment each other. The King of Glory comes to bring justice and victory over evil, he is strong and mighty and none can stand against him. The Shepherd is with us in the very shadow of evil and death. The King of Glory demands holiness, a completely pure heart; the Shepherd leads us to paths of righteousness, helping us by his steady hand and presence to become holy.

The hope of Psalm 24 is that God, the King will come and defeat evil in the world, bringing his justice and glory. It is the hope that the enemies of Psalm 23 will be destroyed, the valley of the shadow of death will be restored and safe once more and there will be no more evil to fear. What I love about David is his understanding that both aspects of God’s nature are needed in order to have a full understanding of Him. Without a Psalm 23 understanding of the God who loves us, who leads us intimately, who walks with us and overflows with mercy and goodness, we are left with the King of Glory alone, the King who you see from afar on his holy hill, whose power is terrible and absolute and while you want him to be victorious and rid the world of all evil, you aren’t comfortable calling him friend or speaking to him. The King demands holiness and the reality is we as humans are incapable of producing such holiness. We must have the Shepherd guiding us to paths of righteousness, walking alongside us, inviting us into his presence.

But without a Psalm 24 understanding of God, we are left with the Shepherd alone, who is good and loving and merciful but not necessarily someone you would say is all powerful. He protects us and is with us through evil, comforting, but comforting us is not the same as coming in power to definitively destroy all evil. We need the King of Glory to shape our hope for the future, the hope of evil defeated and the world restored.

The beauty of these Psalms is that they point to Jesus who is the Shepherd and the King of Glory in one, the God who loves us so infinitely and intimately he became one of us and who defeated sin and death by his death and resurrection. Rather than be unsure of how close we want to be to the King of Glory, God’s intimate love manifest through Christ assures us we can come close and dwell in his presence. Rather than being unsure of just how powerful the Shepherd is when it comes to evil and death, the Cross tells us evil is already defeated, waging a losing war and one day Jesus will come in glory and power to rid the world completely and finally of both. Jesus came to live with us, to Shepherd us into the very presence of himself than defeated evil on the cross. In Jesus the Shepherd and the King of Glory come together in perfect harmony.

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Reflections on Psalm 23 & 24 Part 1

This is the first post of a two part reflection on Psalm 23 & 24, which I (Josh) have been reading over the past couple of weeks. The second half on Psalm 24 and bringing the two together will be up later this week.

A Psalm of David.

¹The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

²He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

³He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name’s sake.

⁴Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

⁶Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD

forever.

Lately I have been reading over Psalm 23 and 24, noticing the contrast between the two adjacent poems. It is a contrast which adds depth to what each is saying about God. On the one hand you have Psalm 23, one of the most beloved and beautiful passages in the entire Bible. The Psalm is almost tangibly full of the gentle peace of a life lived in the presence of God, a God who nurtures, cares for, protects and provides for us. One can almost picture David composing it, perhaps walking as king among the very landscape where as a young shepherd boy he first fell in love with the Lord. With each line David discovers the depth and unquenchable love of God for him. Each familiar stream, pasture and path reveals clues to the good and merciful God who chose David to be King over Israel. This is a David young and fresh from the pressures of being a King, the triumphs and horrors of war, the overwhelming responsibilities of bureaucratic life and the constant needs of his people. So David, as we all need to do from time to time, takes a personal vacation back to his home, his shepherd childhood where he was free to wander the countryside and soak in the majesty of God, the God who was and is his Shepherd.

Psalm 23 reveals a motherly aspect of God’s love. It has a quiet, almost maternal tone; like a mother, God protects and comforts, nurtures and provides for David, the psalm is similar in tone to Psalm 91 where God desires to bring David ‘under his wings’ as a hen would her chicks. The love of God for David and for us is eternal, never wavering, the fullness of what a mother’s love for her child in this world points too.

The Psalm also finds David connecting his past as a shepherd with the realization that God is the ultimate Shepherd. God leads to green pastures, to quiet streams, is a source of comfort through dangerous valleys and provides food and drink for those He guides. He knows his flock intimately and totally and seeks us when we are lost, something Jesus reminds us in Luke 15:1-7.

It is no wonder Psalm 23 has become one of the most cherished passages in all Scripture, for it taps into the basic human desire to be loved, cared for, protected and sheltered. As I read the Psalm, I become acutely aware that I am God’s child or lamb, that he is my caretaker, my nurturer, the source of my very life. He is the perfect shepherd, the perfect mother, the perfect source of unfaltering love. W.H. Auden once wrote:

Nothing can be loved too much,

But all things can be loved

In the wrong way.

Psalm 23 reminds us, or in some cases informs us for the first time, that God will never love us the wrong way, his love will always be perfect and we can never have too much of it.

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From the Future: An Entirely Misleading Title

The older I get (24 is ancient), the longer I have walked with Jesus, the more I realize the Christian walk is a constant cycle of learning and unlearning. The Holy Spirit and the Bible are there to challenge us, to point out truth and untruth in our lives and too constantly change the way we interact in the world to be more like Jesus. A year ago, the things I was thinking about on a daily basis were different then they are today. Partially because I have settled on truth I believe the Holy Spirit led me too, and partially, if I am honest, because I lost interest in the ‘issues’ so important to me back then.

The past 3 months I have been trying to find the balance between being informed and knowledgeable about current issues pertaining to my faith and the world and simply enjoying the presence of Jesus in my world, community and life. I have written about this already. What I was thinking about this morning however, is how easy it is for young Christians to hold fast to certain ideas/opinions/things, thinking their minds will never change when it comes to those issues they feel so passionately about. Not to knock passion, we need it in our lives and Jesus demands passion for him. No, I’m speaking more about what I’ve struggled with and continue to struggle with daily when it comes to living in a world of constant input that demands opinions from everyone about everything. Secondary issues are easily elevated to foundational truths with a depressing and destructive effect on one’s walk with Jesus. Instead of His glory we see our own as we engage in imaginary intellectual debate and dream of comprehensively crushing our opponent and impressing everyone listening (admit it, we’ve all dreamt of it). This pride worms its way into our walk with God so even our times in the Word or in prayer are consumed by it. Then two weeks later we realize our hearts are dry and the God we thought we were honoring with our constant mental soap-boxing has actually been waiting for us to shut up and enjoy his life-giving presence, instead of making it all about our own intellectual fortitude.

I guess all that to say is IF I could go back in time and tell myself then (a year or two ago) what I know now, I would say “Relax. Focus on Jesus before any of the crap besides him you are so passionate about. Misplaced passion is one of the great tragedies of the Christian life. Remember why you love Jesus, all he has done for you, and realize the Christian life is a journey of constant learning and unlearning. Trust me, I’m from the future.”

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Light Beams and Musty Old Sheds: Meditations on Earlier Meditations

Imagine you are in a dark moldy shed and the only light coming into the shed is a singular beam from the roof. Being the only source of light, the beam is really the only visible thing in the shed and you are able to view it in its entirety. You see its width and length and the multitude of dust particles drifting in and along it. You are ‘looking at’ the beam.
Now imagine you step into the beam and look up along it towards the roof of the shed. You are able to see outside the shed and into view come trees and sunlight and a small sliver of the world outside of the shed. You no longer can view the beam of light itself because you are in it. You are ‘looking along’ the beam.

For C.S. Lewis, this illustration was important in describing the difference between Enjoyment and Contemplation (see his ‘Meditations in a Toolshed' essay for further clarification). Lewis thought knowledge could be divided into these two sub-categories, knowledge as Enjoyment and knowledge as Contemplation. The differences between the two are reflected in the beam illustration. To know something Contemplatively is to know it impersonally, scientifically, to identify its attributes but to be outside of it ‘looking at’ the beam. For example, I know my wife is physically beautiful (not my subjective opinion, this is just objective fact), she has brown hair, green eyes; she likes chocolate chip cookies and is a good athlete. To know something through Enjoyment is to know it deeply, personally, to be surrounded by it, to be ‘looking along’ the beam is to surrender to its influence and allow the beam to illuminate your line of sight. For example, sharing life with my wife, in the reality and influence of her presence, growing deeper with each other, being challenged by her and growing as a man/husband because of our love relationship.

I mention this, random though it is, because it got me thinking of how I ‘know’ Jesus. As someone who loves to read and learn about Jesus I often find myself growing in my Contemplative knowledge of Christ (which is a good thing) but neglecting my Enjoyment of him.
Think about when you came into a relationship with Jesus and surrendered your life to him. For many, there was a definite Contemplative reason(s) for wanting to commit their life to Christ but the actual act, the moment (or series of moments) of surrender was akin to moving from ‘looking at’ the beam (Jesus) to stepping inside of and ‘looking along’ the beam. In fact the very act of stepping into the beam is in a sense ‘surrendering’ to the beam and allowing it to transform your field of vision. No longer is Jesus something you look at but He becomes the light by which you see the rest of the world.

I do not think I am alone in this struggle for a deeper Enjoyment of Jesus. I’ve found that many people, especially younger people, struggle to find a healthy balance between Contemplating Jesus and Enjoying him. In today’s world everyone is an information junkie and input is nearly unavoidable so the Christian constantly has opportunities to learn more and more Contemplatively about Jesus without pausing to reflect on Him.

But ultimately the transformation Jesus brings is less through Contemplative knowledge of him (important though that is) and a whole lot more through Enjoyment of him, being in his presence, allowing him to illuminate everything else. There is only so much ‘looking at’ Jesus can teach us about him if we are not stepping into his Glory and light to Enjoy him. If we are content to ‘look at’ the beam instead of ‘looking along’ it, we are confining our knowledge of him and hindering the transformation Jesus constantly brings to a life. We are in effect, refusing to surrender and playing it safe, rather than risking the transformation and life changing awe a life lived in Jesus’ presence brings.

For many students in San Francisco, pondering Jesus Contemplatively is a necessary start, but it is hardly the end. We (Alex, myself, our ministry team) don’t simply want people to think about Jesus impersonally but to surrender their life to the Enjoyment of him, to be engulfed in his glory, forgiveness, love and strength and to live their life ‘looking along’ the truth of Jesus, rather than simply ‘looking at’ it.

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"Well," and "Enjoying God"

Hello fellow friends and supporters! I realize it has been a while since we have given an update on our ministry and what has been going on in Josh and my life, on our blog at least, so here it goes!

Ministry Update:

Currently we are still in Glendale raising support, hoping to be in San Francisco by the end of the Fall. We have 75% of our support raised which means we have 1/4 of the way to go. We cannot fully express how much God has blessed us through your continued prayers and support. The fact the Lord has brought in 75% of our support already is a huge blessing and something we thank Him for daily.

The school year in San Francisco started the last week of August and our directors Chris and Christine had a baby about a week before the first day of school. His name is Nolan and (based on the pictures I see on facebook) he is adorable.

Currently the City Cru team at San Francisco State is 5 strong (well 6 if you count Nolan), with Chris and Christine, interns Matt and Leah, and second year intern Anthony, all of whom I believe you've heard about through our last prayer letter. The other intern Kyle, as well as Josh and myself, are still in the support raising process and trusting the Lord's timing in bringing in the necessary funds.

Please continue to pray that the Lord gives His abundant love, guidance, protection, and endurance both to the team and City Cru students as the school year moves along.

Other Random Updates:

Josh - God has really been convicting and challenging me to Enjoy being in His presence. Often I am content to simply learn about His intellectually and not allow that knowledge to sink in and transform me. I'll be elaborating on this in a post later this week, but it has been super cool to focus on enjoying Jesus in my times with his. It sounds elementary but you'd be surprised how often we can spend good time with Jesus and forget to enjoy Him.

Alex - People ask me everyday, "How are you doing?" Most of the time I will reply, "Well," not having the time or energy to express what's really going on and also understanding this question is most often a civility used to begin a conversation. However, truthfully that is just how I am doing at the moment, "Well." Support raising, I have to say, is not the most thrilling part of doing ministry, though it is a very necessary part. My preference is to be going, doing, and experiencing significant results from my work. Yes, I go, do and see results though the support process, but it is at a much slower pace and the results are very much out of my control. This has been hard for me, but becomes easier everyday. The Lord has been teaching me to sit, rest and be "well" in His presence. Must I always have something going on or conquering some new venture to be well? No, I can be well sitting here typing this post, sitting outside on the ground listening to the rustling leaves or even just even waiting around for a support call. I am learning to be "well" simply because I am His.


On a lighter note, I just finished reading two books, quite an accomplishment for me as I am a slow reader, A Severe Mercy by: Sheldon Vanauken and The Great Gatsby by: F. Scott Fitzgerald. Both were great books and gave two very different pictures of "love" idealized and then realized, one beautiful and one tragic, yet I wholly enjoyed both tales. I end with two quotes, one from each book, that particularly moved me...

"...though I wouldn't have admitted it, even to myself. I didn't want God aboard. He was too heavy. I wanted Him approving from a considerable distance. I didn't want to be thinking of Him. I wanted to be free- like Gypsy. I wanted life itself, the color and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now and then, like a loved poem I could read when I wanted to. I didn't want us to be swallowed up in God. I wanted holidays from the school of Christ."
-A Severe Mercy

"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."
-The Great Gatsby

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A Thin Place

The old Celtic Christians had this idea of ‘thin places’, places in the world where the veil between heaven and earth (which they supposed to be three feet apart) was particularly thinned, with heaven trickling through the veil so that one could experience and feel the presence of God more tangibly there than other places. The more I have thought about it, the more I think there is something to it and this past weekend I caught a glimpse of just what the Celtics were getting at.

This past weekend Alex and I drove up to the Central Coast to go to a wedding of an old friend in San Luis Obispo. The Central Coast has a special place in my heart for various reasons: I love the openness of the landscape compared to Southern California, I love the rolling hills, green or golden depending on the season, sprinkled with gnarled, ancient looking trees, I love the clean air coming off the wild ocean, colder and more dangerous than the waters down south. I have countless childhood memories of Morro Bay and Cayucos, so many they tend to blend together into a distinct ideal, a particular picture with a tangible atmosphere.

The ‘thin place’ (if I may be presumptuous) I’m referring to is an old house on a dry grassy hillside in Cayucos overlooking the ocean. This house belongs to Bill and Lois Roark who have been family friends my whole life. They knew my dad before any of us, before my mom even and my dad reckons he has spent 1/20^th of his life at their house on the hillside. The memories I have of the house are a bit spotty: spending time in their old redwood hot tub, or picking the blackberries which grew under and along the deck with my sister, watching the surf come in silently below, seeing dark shadows of owls and other nighttime creatures in the evening, but mostly I remember how beautiful and calm I always felt. Something about looking down at the ocean, or up the hill watching random deer or cows grazing, filled me, even as a child with a deep sense of God’s peace.

Going back this past weekend, I experienced the same thing, and as I sat around the lunch table listening to conversation I looked around the house and noticed it hadn’t changed a bit. Bill and Lois have lived at the house for 40 + years and have loved God in it for that time. I believe the fact God has been worshiped and glorified there for so long has left a spiritually tangible mark, one that is easy to miss but not really hard to find if you are looking for it. The house has a palpable tranquility, despite the fact conversation volume tends to be near yelling levels since Bill and Lois are in their mid 80’s. But for me it goes beyond the mere tranquility of the surroundings and ventures into stranger and harder to describe territory. The best word I can think of is depth. The house has an unexplained spiritual depth, a sense that God is not far off, like you could go sit out on the deck and you’d be closer to him than you ever have, like you could hear his voice, soft but clear and he would have a conversation with you like he has with many over the years. I wonder how many times Jesus has comforted someone on that deck, spoken words of encouragement or calling, shared the sorrow of a deep loss or the joy of new life, or simply sat and watched the sunset.

I’ll admit, I’m not sure if the sense I got had more to do with my own family history there or something else entirely, but there was no mistaking the sense of God in that place. I think places like that have marks, residual reminders of the glory of God, of the many prayers uttered and answered, of mornings when the presence of Christ was a quiet comfort and of the days or nights when the beauty and wonder of Jesus was overwhelming, those moments when heaven didn’t merely trickle through the veil to earth but burst through it like a river. Something of heaven remains, subtle but present nonetheless and it is up to us to find those ‘thin places’ and simply be. Be silent, be overwhelmed by the peace of God, be open to the whispers of Christ, and be fully yourself in the quiet presence of the Creator.

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