Alex - People ask me everyday, "How are you doing?" Most of the time I will reply, "Well," not having the time or energy to express what's really going on and also understanding this question is most often a civility used to begin a conversation. However, truthfully that is just how I am doing at the moment, "Well." Support raising, I have to say, is not the most thrilling part of doing ministry, though it is a very necessary part. My preference is to be going, doing, and experiencing significant results from my work. Yes, I go, do and see results though the support process, but it is at a much slower pace and the results are very much out of my control. This has been hard for me, but becomes easier everyday. The Lord has been teaching me to sit, rest and be "well" in His presence. Must I always have something going on or conquering some new venture to be well? No, I can be well sitting here typing this post, sitting outside on the ground listening to the rustling leaves or even just even waiting around for a support call. I am learning to be "well" simply because I am His.
On a lighter note, I just finished reading two books, quite an accomplishment for me as I am a slow reader, A Severe Mercy by: Sheldon Vanauken and The Great Gatsby by: F. Scott Fitzgerald. Both were great books and gave two very different pictures of "love" idealized and then realized, one beautiful and one tragic, yet I wholly enjoyed both tales. I end with two quotes, one from each book, that particularly moved me...
"...though I wouldn't have admitted it, even to myself. I didn't want God aboard. He was too heavy. I wanted Him approving from a considerable distance. I didn't want to be thinking of Him. I wanted to be free- like Gypsy. I wanted life itself, the color and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now and then, like a loved poem I could read when I wanted to. I didn't want us to be swallowed up in God. I wanted holidays from the school of Christ."
-A Severe Mercy
"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."
-The Great Gatsby