In the Garden

Death defeated, afraid but filled with Joy,
a simple word, my name in a garden,
and at once, true love leads me to worship;
while whispers cast doubt on victory thought final.

Evil trembles at the thought of new hope,
Dawn breaks with new creation on its wings.
Am I the first to see Him, to touch Him
or has He been laughing in the garden awhile?
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Meanderings (the last 10 days)

photo by Anthony Lam
Meanderings -
It was my birthday this past Monday (the 11th) and like any good American, I worked all day.  It really was a good day; Alex had already thrown me a small British themed birthday party (complete with a banner featuring: Harry Potter, the Queen, a shirtless David Beckham, Tolkien and N.T. Wright) on Saturday so I was able to focus on the talk I was giving at our weekly meeting.  Studying for the talk (on the spiritual disciplines and prayer in particular) really convinced me of how often I relegate (a wonderful soccer term) prayer to the garbage time of my day instead of making it central.  And when it comes down to it, the reason I don't pray enough is a) I don't believe Jesus will be faithful to hear and answer my prayers or b) I am lazy and value my own comfort (see: sleep) over the life-giving presence of God...when I put it like that it makes me realize how insane it sounds.  Jesus is entirely and perfectly faithful and has proven himself to be so time after time in my life and forgoing being in the presence of the Almighty because I would rather sleep or read espn.com is so...selfish.  




Random thoughts:
- Well sitting in a coffee shop nodding my head to a Train song, it finally hit me.  At 25, I have officially hit middle-age...right?  Isn't 25 the age I just give up and go Volvo shopping and get really into CSI: Miami? 
- I heard recently The Magician's Nephew is going to be the next movie in the terrible Chronicles of Narnia movie series.  Early reports are C.S. Lewis continues to roll over in his grave.
- Blake Griffin's rookie season was the most spectacular regular season I remember a player having.
- Reason #1002 I love my wife: she also loves Norm Macdonald (p.s. his new weekly Sports Show Tuesdays at 10:30 on Comedy Central is the new best show on tv)


Prayer Requests:
- first of all, a praise: the student we wrote about in our last prayer letter that Alex met has accepted Christ!  So rad.
- Alex and I have been feeling pretty tired this week.  Pray for continued reliance on Jesus, not our own power and energy.  We want to finish the school year well, not just fade away into the summer.
- Pray for our students to really embrace prayer and make it central in their lives.  





As always, we love you all so much and are so blessed to have you be a part of our ministry.
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Written Prayer

I (Josh) process through written prayer sometimes.  Here is one such prayer written 04/06/11 on campus at SFSU, revised 04/13/11 in the quiet of my home

Dear Lord,
Help me to know how to listen and how to love.  Help me to care, to deeply feel the agony of sin, to deeply hate the evil in this world, to deeply hope for signs of redemption, to deeply long for wrongs to be righted, to deeply live out a life of mercy and to deeply trust in you alone.  Guide me Holy Spirit, direct me, lead me, quiet me, silence me, animate me with your purposes and power.  Remind me of the Cross, the ultimate shelter, the ultimate stronghold, truest love manifest, total redemption begun.
Amen.
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Meanderings: March 28th - April 2


picture by Anthony Lam (one of our interns)
Meanderings

The past 6 weeks have flown by…I’ve mentioned as much in our last prayer letter.  Alex and I have been busy adjusting to life, to the ministry, to the cycles of momentum that exists at every college campus and to being married co-workers in San Francisco.  It has been a wonderful and challenging period.  However, as great as it has been, I am a bit disappointed in myself.  Why?  Well, simply put, in my moments of free time and rest, keeping this blog updated is far from my mind.  I love to write, I love blogging here and I love our supporters to be up to date with what is going on in our lives on a weekly basis…but I have been terrible at keeping this blog up to date.  So I wanted to apologize to everyone who reads the San Francisco Call regularly.  Starting this week I am going to schedule time each week to post happenings, prayer requests and stories from the past week.

This week was spring break for SFSU and City College, which means Alex and I were not on campus.  To be honest, the break came at just the right time for me, I was definitely beginning to feel the fatigue of 6 weeks straight of ministry with hardly a moment to rest.  This week has been a good time of reflection and refreshment, a time for Alex and me to look inward and listen to the Holy Spirit.  I have been convicted recently of how easily I am distracted by lesser things and often put off having deep time with the Lord in order to read a book or look at sports scores or different blogs.  This week has allowed me to spend deep time with Jesus in prayer and the Word and already I feel renewed and ready to tackle the remaining 5 weeks of the school year.

Random thoughts:
-  Alex and I are going to be joining an indoor soccer team which will be fun and a great way to burn off some pent up energy on Sunday evenings, so that should be fun.
-  The Lord has already answered one of our major prayer moving up here, namely to have great community and friends.  If you’re reading this, you know who you are, but we really do thank Jesus daily for the amazing relationships we have already established here in SF.
- As of this morning (Saturday), the Dodgers are undefeated at the expense of the Giants and the Lakers are rolling.  As a LA sports fan in enemy territory, I am stoked :)

Prayer requests:
- One of our student’s father passed away suddenly last weekend from a heart attack.  Please pray for the peace of Jesus to be upon him and his family and that the community of City Cru can come alongside him and love him well.
- We have taken some time this spring break to do some more support raising.  It is a continual process as staff and we would love to see the Lord bring in some new support.  God has provided for us in incredible ways and we have faith He will continue to do so.  Please pray for those who we are contacting to be open to the Lord’s promptings if He would have them join our team in whatever capacity.
- Pray for Alex and me to have hearts and spirits of continual thanksgiving for the way God has provided for us and our ministry already.
- We have a couple outreaches coming up but this week specifically we are going to be partnering with other clubs on campus to raise money for the cause of orphans around the world.  Our intern Matt has started the Orphan Scholarship Fund to raise money for orphans to go to college.  To read more about the Orphan Scholarship Fund check out the facebook group and the article below:  



Please pray for God to open up doors for City Cru to show his love for both orphans and the campus of SFSU and that we would be able to raise the money.  Also pray for City Cru to make connections with students and other clubs and for relationships to be built.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, support and prayers.  We love you all so much and remember to check back regularly for updates and musings, I promise I will be more diligent in updating the blog.  Again, we love you!
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Visions of San Francisco


Inside the ferry building.
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A Strangely Insightful Circus






     In a lot of ways the whole circus surrounding the release of the new Rob Bell book on Hell has acted as a strange and compelling fun house mirror, held up to the current American Evangelical landscape.  It has revealed some of the worrying tendencies in certain camps while confusing many an evangelical…like myself.  The crazy thing is I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  In a weird way I’m thankful for the internet exploding into insanity in the past couple weeks; between the whole Hell vs. Universalism debate and Charlie Sheen basically embracing the fact he is an F-18 bro (aka, he’s a lunatic) it’s given me a lot to think about.

     On the one hand, there is the Rob Bell camp which I suppose could best be described as progressive evangelicalism (my words).  Living now in San Francisco I can somewhat identify with this group.  I don’t think ‘progressive’ is a bad word no matter how often Glenn Beck writes it on a chalkboard, but I do think many progressive evangelicals can wear it like a badge of honor.  Bell seems to take pride in the fact he is less condemning and more understanding than other Christian teachers.  I would say he is more artist than philosopher/theologian, but either way he seems very…how can I put this nicely…sure of himself?  Another way to say it would be arrogant, even dismissive of the ‘close-minded’ conservatives who hold so tightly to traditional Christian beliefs without questioning them…at least that’s how he seems to this casual observer.  I enjoy some of his Nooma videos and liked the book Velvet Elvis and even have enjoyed and learned from a few of his sermons but he just seems very…prideful to me.  The book description from HarperCollins on his new book on heaven and hell, Love Wins, simply solidifies my suspicions: “An electrifying, unconventional pastor whom Time magazine calls “a singular rock star in the church world,” Rob Bell is the most vibrant, central religious leader of the millennial generation.”
     Setting aside for a moment the desire to sell books and the probability Rob Bell didn’t write that himself, how in the world can a pastor allow themselves to be described in such a ridiculous and worshipful way and NOT do anything to change it?  If a pastor is supposed to lead their congregation by the way they  live life, how could he not simply laugh at such an absurd description and tell the publishers, ‘look guys, I’m flattered, but how’s about toning down the praise, cause right now it makes me look like an arrogant jerk who thinks WAY to highly of himself’.  This to me is the FAR more worrying trend in Evangelicalism at the moment: how prideful Christian leaders come across.  Their way of thinking is the best way, they are so insightful, other people who disagree with them just don’t get it, look at how popular they are and how many books they’ve sold, ect.  And coupled with this sense of pride is a lack of awareness (best case scenario) or a lack of caring about it (worst case scenario).

     The sad thing is our culture longs for the Christian ‘rock-star’.  We’ve been conditioned by our society to turn a person into an idol because it’s easier to cope with an idol than with Jesus.  It’s easier to latch onto your favorite writer/theologian/pastor/teacher and follow everything they do than it is to latch fully onto Jesus.  But no matter how many times Mark Driscoll challenges you to not be a stupid idiot, or N.T. Wright challenges you to think of heaven as a renewed physical earth and not a place of disembodies souls, those challenges PALE in comparison to the challenges of Jesus, starting simply with love God and love others.  That is too hard!  And yet the Bible teaches it is the commands and life of Jesus we are supposed to follow, not our favorite speaker.  So no matter what Rob Bell says about heaven or hell, no matter how ‘electrifying’ he is, his insight and opinion isn’t the final word…then again neither is the other side’s.

     Which bring us to the other tent in this circus, the tent which in many ways started this whole fiasco to begin with.  The New Reformed tent.  It’s a pretty big and influential tent (not to mention pretty male and white) with a lot going for it.  It is just as media savvy as Rob Bell, just as in touch with the culture and unfortunately, just as aware of its popularity and power. 

     First things first: what troubles me most about the way many leaders and pastors in this camp rushed to judgment on a book they have never read isn’t the fact they are attempting to toss him outside the Christian community, or the fact they assume they have the power to kick someone out of the Christian community, or the fact they are labeling Rob Bell a heretic without having read his book, it’s the obvious lack of LOVE they have shown in this whole situation.
Alex, my lovely wife, said it best, “Why is their first reaction to kick Rob Bell out of the Christian community via the internet and NOT to go to him and try to love him, or at least talk to him?”  The dismissiveness of many very influential leaders of Rob Bell is troubling to say the least.  It’s almost as if they were LOOKING for a reason to dismiss him, which honestly, maybe they were.  Maybe they were tired of answering questions about Velvet Elvis or of hearing about Rob Bell doing speaking engagements with the Dali Llama (I know I was) and this was the final straw.  Maybe they were just sick of such a widely read pastor asking questions they deemed to be dangerous or giving answers they deemed to be questionable.  Whatever the case, their first actions, articles and tweets were reactionary, angry, dismissive and unreasonable given the fact they hadn’t read more than the chapter or two of the book the publisher sent out early.  More over there was an underlying theme of fear.  Fear of Christians wrestling with big issues like what the Bible says about hell and how to best understand it, fear of people not being content just to believe in hell because its always been taught, fear of (and this is just my opinion) losing their own power and influence.  As someone who has thought about hell a lot recently I can honestly say I believe there is a hell and that its separation from Jesus and the worst possible place humanity can be…but does that mean I angrily dismiss anyone I know for merely asking a question about how hell is portrayed in the Bible and label them a heretic?  It seems intellectually dishonest and thoroughly UN-Biblical and unloving to attack someone for asking a question, no matter how scary you think the implications of the question is.

     The bigger issue which this whole circus has raised and not many people seem to be acknowledging, is pride.  An astonishing lack of humility has been show by both sides in this argument!  On the one hand there is Rob Bell and the ‘progressives’ who are quick to label more ‘conservative’ Christians as close minded and bigoted, not to mention the already touched on absurdity of Rob Bell being okay with being described as a “rock star”.  On the other hand you have the New Reformers who are so convinced their system is the right system and their theology is the right theology they rush to excommunicate a fellow brother in Christ instead of reaching out to him in love when they feel threatened…not to mention the fact they are excoriating the said brother in Jesus based on a book description, not the actual book itself!  If you ask me, it is pretty presumptuous to call someone a heretic based on a book description, no matter how egomaniacal the book description is.  As I mentioned earlier, I am weirdly thankful for this whole circus because its made very clear the problems which explode when pride is left unchecked…on both sides.

     My reason for writing this post is to challenge myself to take a good hard look at the areas in my life where pride reigns (not to mention the ways in which I can overvalue the opinions of pastors/teachers I respect instead of thinking for myself).  I should go into meetings with students and City Cru events with fear and trembling, not self-assured confidence, knowing the dangers and delusions of pride are often impossible to detect until something draws them out publicly…like a book description from an author I don’t particularly agree with on an issue I think I have the end-all answer to.  My hope and wish is for all the Christian leaders involved to take a deep breath and apologize for believing their own hype, rushing to judgment or at the very least for acting out in a way soaked in self-trust and anger instead of Jesus.  I know I am as guilty as anyone of being seduced by the allure of pride, vanity and esteem so I hope I don’t sound holier than thou.  Its is often easy to see the pride of others and point it out while being blinded to my own vanity.  We are all sinners who are very imperfect but are loved infinitely by a God who is very perfect indeed.  And that, at least, is an eternally comforting thought.
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Ministry, Individualism and the Image of God: What Fleet Foxes Made Me Think

“I was raised up believer I was somehow unique.  Like a snowflake, distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see. And now after some thinking, I’d say I’d rather be, a functioning cog in some great machinery, serving something beyond me.”~ Helplessness Blues– Fleet Foxes


I love the opening verse of this song by Fleet Foxes (hipster alert!).  I think it perfectly captures the place many of today’s college students are at.  Look, I love America the way Ron Swanson loves breakfast buffets, but certain aspects of our culture drive me crazy.  Take for instance, the virtue of individualism.  In some respects, the whole notion each one of us is unique is very Biblical and true.  God knows each of us intimately and has created us in a distinct way.  He knows the number of hairs on our head, ect, ect.  I get that, I believe that.  But unfortunately, today’s culture takes that truth and runs with it and we are taught from a young age it is our own individual existence which is most important.  Essentially we are told we are each the center of our own universes.

What I have seen both when I was in college and here in SF among students is a cultural shift away from the completely “me” centered existence to the idea, however fuzzy or vague, that actually we are meant to be in community with others and to live for something bigger than ourselves.  This is what college students are searching for, a greater purpose existing outside of themselves. 
The next line in the song quoted above is “But I don’t, I don’t know what that will be.  I’ll get back to you someday soon you will see.”  This longing to be a part of something bigger than one’s self is, I think, a reflection of the image of God in each one of us.  The idea of being made in the image of God goes far beyond some quasi-spiritual soul but means something far deeper and more relational.  In Genesis we see Adam and Eve made ‘in the image of God’ and they reflect it in 4 distinct relationships (full disclosure: I am stealing these 4 relationships from a Scot Mcknight talk on being made in God’s image):  1)  their relationship with God  2)  their relationship with each other  3)  their relationship with themselves  4)  their relationship with Creation.  When they sinned, it wasn’t just their relationship with God which was broken, it was all four. 

Part of what it means to surrender yourself to Jesus is, of course, our relationship to God is reconciled by the Cross of Christ but so should our relationships with others, ourselves and the world/creation.  Jesus being the center, changes the way we relate to all 4.  Of course it takes time and the Holy Spirit working within us for those relationships to heal but the fact remains we are ‘new creations’ and as new creations those relationships should now revolve around Jesus.
For many of today’s college students, constant doses of “me” centered thinking from parents, culture and authority has stirred up something inside them, a mysterious sense that perhaps this self-centered individualism is not the way we were made to live.  After all, what has that sort of worldview gotten our parents generation?  Sure, money, knowledge and power but also an obvious selfishness and consumerist mentality which sees the world and everything in it, from sex to marriage to friendship to material things, even love as a commodity that it their right.  This mentality has even lodged itself into the Western church and our view of God himself.  ‘What can God give me?’  ‘What can Jesus do for you’?

           Today’s college students (and of course I’m speaking in generalities) are beginning to realize what Jesus said 2000 years ago, if “they lose their life, they will find it’.  We are made and designed to live for something outside ourselves.  Part of our job as staff and as followers of Jesus in general is to come alongside students and affirm their sneaking suspicions they are not the center of the universe and were created to be ‘a functioning cog’ in something much larger, the Kingdom of God.  That is the challenge of college ministry, to present the truth that it is in Jesus and His story we find our true selves.  Of course there are a multitude of competing worldviews fighting for student’s minds and hearts, worldviews which would even affirm that living self-centeredly is not how we were made to live.  But ultimately without Jesus, most of those worldviews are all about you in the end: how good you are; how loving and generous you are; how just you are; and they eventually lead a person to worship themselves and their own goodness/morality.

It is our job as Spirit-led, holistic disciples of Christ to model a Jesus centered life, to model reconciliation in all of our relationships, to reflect what it means to truly be made in the image of God.  It is a tall order indeed, one which would be impossible without Jesus giving us the Holy Spirit to guide and sustain us.  So the question is, am I reflecting Jesus and showing the world what it means to be made in the image of God?  Are we actually living for something much grander than ourselves or using Jesus to serve our own purposes?  Chances are all of us reflect God’s image well in some areas of our lives and poorly in other areas.  The reality remains, without more of Jesus and  the Holy Spirit and way less of us it will always be an uphill battle.  But thankfully we serve and love a God who never forsakes us, who is infinitely patient with us, and uses even our mistakes for His glory.  
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